5 Essential Etiquette Rules for Hosting an Adult-Themed Party

Uncomfortableness at adult themed parties seldom comes from the content but from assumptions — guests who had no idea of what they were in for, a host who failed to establish boundaries, a drunk friend who doesn’t know when to quit. Get the logistics and social contract right from the get-go, and the rest will follow

Rule 1: Say exactly what kind of party this is

Ambiguous or overly vague invitations are often the root cause of the problem. If your invitation was “come and celebrate Dave’s 40th”, and your guests arrive to a stripper pole in the living room, you’ve made a choice for people who were never presented with one. Put the theme on the very invitation — if it says “adults only, adult entertainment included” there is no room for misunderstanding.

This isn’t about killing the element of surprise, it’s about giving people an out. People who don’t want to be part of that can save face, instead of showing up, standing in the corner all evening, and looking like they want to leave. Putting the real details upfront is what makes a difference between a fun private party and an ambush.

Rule 2: Set up a consent framework before anyone arrives

Every great adults-only party needs a failsafe, a way for people to pause the action without any drama. A simple code word — something that can be said to other guests, or to the performer themselves — serves as the universal exit strategy. You will think it’s silly and unnecessary until that one time.

This should work both ways, with performers also having the right to cut the night short if a guest is out of control. A pre-party chat with the entertainer, five minutes spent outlining what is and isn’t acceptable, and informing them of any weird nuances about the guest list, goes a long way than most other advice on this list. Hosts who skip this step are the ones who end up making those awkward phone calls the next day.

Rule 3: Ban phones and mean it

The number one reason people don’t want to attend these gatherings is privacy concerns. Nobody wants to end up on someone else’s story. Try to inform everyone about the “no-phone” rule at least 48 hours in advance, and again when they get to the door. There can just be a basket next to the front door, or the host can remind visitors about the rule. The technique is less important than the fact that it exists, and that it’s formally announced — not left as an assumption

People tend to relax a lot when they know the rule is in place, not because they’re afraid of being kicked out, but because they trust that the host has their best interest in mind.

Rule 4: Manage the alcohol on purpose

The number one reason these parties turn awkward has little to do with the performer, and everything to do with one drunk guest who’s having too much fun, and behaves inappropriately. To avoid that, it’s a good idea to manage your bar.

Whether that means implementing a drink ticket system, limiting the amount of drinks per person, or simply shutting it down an hour before the entertainer arrives — it’s up to you. Pick one method, and stick to it. Legally, it’s the host who’s responsible for the actions of their drunk guests — not the performer. It should be enough of a motivation to keep the bar under control.

Rule 5: Book professionals, not favours

“My mate knows a girl who does this on weekends” — that’s how good parties turn into disasters. Not only do trained performers come with the advantage of experience, they often have built-in safeguards designed to keep everyone safe and comfortable. They know how to keep a lousy guest in check, and if you pick the right place for adult entertainment, they know how to cut the night short without wasting anyone’s time (sadly, this is a skill not often found in amateur performers, whose entire livelihood depends on keeping the show running)

This is where location sourcing becomes vitally important — look for a reliable adult entertainment agency with an established reputation, rates, and staff which have been doing this for a while. toplessbabes.com.au/ is one such example — a known name in the industry with established rates and performers who know their job. The adult entertainment market is a US$97 billion industry worldwide, and the private-event space within it has seen a shift towards professional agency performers over amateur ones due to the aforementioned issues.

Before you book anyone, confirm that the venue is legal for adult entertainment. Councils and licensing authorities can sometimes place restrictions on what kinds of performances can take place in a given venue. A ten minute phone call to the venue itself can save you a lot of trouble and wasted effort.

Finally, make sure everyone’s costs are settled before the night of the event. Deposits, travel fares, and tipping policies should all be ironed out beforehand.

The night itself takes care of itself

It’s all very well and good, but nobody wants to have a friend over for a casual drink at their home only to find out they need to tip everyone in advance. It’s the same with adult entertainment — there should be open and transparent communication with the performer or agency you’ve booked, an established spending limit, and a reliable source. With the guest list, venue, bar, and entertainment sorted out before your first visitor even arrives, everything else will fall neatly into place.